I had just written a whole massive page on this and it got deleted or lost in cyberspace so I'm gutted!!!! I was on a role and now it's gone...so I have to explain myself all over again with less enthusiasm than I had 20minutes ago...bare with me...
I have restarted this blog as I was inspired by another blog that I am currently following. I was going to paste the link to this other blog and this is where my entry disappeared so if you're interested in the other blog that I will soon mention then you shall have to find it on your own otherwise I will lose the plot...again!
Basically, Yaz is currently touring around Italy with the school trip. After talking and planning this trip for the past 3 years, it is finally happening and she is having the time of her life by the sounds of it! It came around so fast that I don't think my heart was ready to take on this 'seperation anxiety' I am currently going through...oh I miss her so much and I'm sure that I'm speaking on behalf of Ian and Bailey also. What a great experience though for her. We are really proud and she has worked so hard to get there as well. She has certainly grown into a responsible, incredible, beautiful woman and I swear if anyone in Italy tried to claim her they obviously have no idea who they're dealing with!!!
Anyway...they are doing a daily blog about the trip hence what I was talking about before so I've been reading it everyday, just to get a glimpse of my daughter in some way, to know where she is and what's shes doing, to try and see what she's seeing through their excited and experienced words. What a fantastic opportunity these young adults are having, let's hope they really appreciate everything that they come across. I have no doubt what-so-ever that they will.
I don't know whether this entry will be a one-off or whether I will keep it going for a while. I must admit I really enjoy doing it, whether anyone reads it or not...it's a way of self expressing I guess, which as anyone who knows me, knows I like to be expressive and let people know how I am feeling. Life is too short to bottle things up or to not let someone know that you care. I now have more time on my hands so maybe this will be a weekly thing again. Life was pretty hectic when I finished off but it's slowed down quite a bit since then so fingers crossed,(as sore and worn down as they may be), that I'll make this commitment more often.
I have finished up working at the gym due to really bad wear and tear on my hands, joints etc...It was a really sad time for me to come to terms with the fact that my amazing career had to cease due to something out of my control. If I could have stayed in that career forever I would've been so happy. Unfortunately because it was so giving, it was debilitating on me and not only drained my body physically but it drained me emotionally as well. I guess because you give your all, day in, day out, every day, that when you finish, there's no quality left for you and those around you that truly deserve it! So now I am walking along my path, looking for the next turn or side street but there's none in sight at the moment. I'm sure that it will literally jump out at me when it does come up though, isn't it always the way? I must admit though that I'm glad it's taken a while for the next thing to come along as it's given me time to re-cuperate and it's also given me quality time with my family. I truly don't know how I would've held onto a job mentally over the past month with this 'Italy' build up. It consumed my thoughts 24/7 and has given me sleepless nights with excitement, worry etc...I have also had time spiritually to get to know myself again, which I feel so strongly about. Everyone needs to find themselves in whatever way is important to them and I have found myself again. Why is it so easy to get lost all of the time??? I guess if we didn't we would never grow or learn so I'm thankful for the stones I have tumbled over and the side streets that turned out to be dead-ends...it has brought me to today...still walking down that road but the direction isn't daunting, it's exciting I guess?!
I have just realised how much I have rambled on...there is probably no-one there anymore right? Sorry...what did you expect. It's been so long since I've expressed myself that my fingers are going a million miles an hour and I have so much buzz in my brain that I can't get the words out fast enough!!!
Anyway, Ian and Bailey are doing great. Ian is still plodding on with his work but is happy and healthy. We have an amazing marriage and I just adore him to bits. Bailey is doing very well at school and is getting an academic award at the end of the year due to his amazing efforts and achievements. I don't think I could beam any brighter than I am right now over what precious gifts I have. I am so thankful and can't believe I have been so truly blessed!
I guess I had better get ready for work as I am still doing a little bit of massaging on the side until that next door swings open for me. I'm excited about this blog again, it's like an ember has been sparked again and it makes me feel that little bit more alive! Sorry I'll stop now before you all throw stuff at your screens!!!
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